And I said, “How can she know me? Who is she?” by the way, while we were going out. Suzie said, “Oh she just kept asking me. She said she was supposed to attend Your lecture in Chulalongkorn University but couldn’t make it, and then later she just read Your book.” I said, “How can she read my book and recognize me like this?” I was all in black. And she said, “Oh yes, yes, people recognize You.” I cannot believe it. Just a sample booklet, you know. I looked different, but they recognized me. I don’t know how. […]
I’m even more sleepy now. I’m in a worse state than when I was in the airplane. Just after I saw Her [Royal] Highness off, I said to Suzie, another attendant, “Oh now, OK. Let’s sit here for a few minutes. And I fill in all my papers and then we slowly go to our car, and then I can sleep in the car at least.” And then suddenly I asked her something and she said, “Master, You want to go for lunch with me?” She invited me for lunch, but I paid, I told you already. […] I did not feel like food that day, at the time because I was very sleepy, but since she has been so nice, I felt obliged to [accept] her invitation. So we came in and talked again. And I have another surprise for you. Go on. So that’s how I know about your retreat here and that’s how another dream is broken right now.
Because I was thinking that now after lunch, there’s nothing else to do. I will go sleep in the car and then go straight home and sleep because I feel really, really, really exhausted because of many things I did in the last few days. I feel I could not lift even my legs to walk anymore. But then just when I thought I was going to sleep in the car, she said, “Oh, Master, they are having a retreat. Just next door.” And I thought to myself, “Oh no!” Can’t. Not like this. So I cannot because I’m already here. Since you are here together, and you’re on retreat and it’s Mother’s Day and Queen’s birthday and what not, I cannot not stop by since I’m already here in town. And no excuse. So finally, I said, “Oh, oh yes.”
And then I have to send him flying back to my house to get the video equipment, because he was there just to fetch me and didn’t bring any video (equipment), nothing. No equipment, no microphone. But I sent Suzie flying after him with one piece of (vegan) food for him so he can munch in the car. Because actually he was also invited for food. So, we ordered for four people and because of the time shortage, he had to fly home and then we had to eat for four. That makes me even more sleepy because the food was good. So you know how much effort I had to make in order to come here and sit down and talk to you until now. Originally, I just said to them, “OK. I’ll just come in to say hallo and then sayonara (goodbye).” But this is not possible. Because your desire keeps me awake and talking. Your desire to see me long, to love me long. For a long time. Love me for a long time. If you love me long, I’ll live short.
I had another surprise for you, I told you. So let’s go back to the Central Plaza. After the big (vegan) meal… I did not expect I could eat so much because I was so tired and didn’t think of food. But when the (vegan) food was there, everybody was eating like mad around because it was Mother’s Day; so all the fathers, mothers, children, were all there eating, yum yum yum. So, when I saw all this, I also felt like doing the same stuff. And it was good and a very big lunch. Is it OK? Not too fast for them? (Yes. Yes.) And then after that I thought, “Oh God. I have to go to the group meditation. I don’t know if I can make it.” And they suggested, “OK, Master. Never mind. Then You go home to sleep and cancel it.” But I felt so bad. I said, “Since I’m here already, I might just as well go there and sleep with them at least in the whole group. Then I came.
But before that, I thought, “My God, I don’t know if I can make it. OK, let’s go to the bathroom.” I went to freshen myself up with a sprinkle of water and then put some makeup on, freshen my lipstick or things like that and probably I would feel better. But here comes the surprise. And before that, I wanted to go and just sit a long time in the restroom, just have a rest. But no chance. As soon as I stepped in the restroom, there was one lady who was jerking and looking at me like this. And then as soon as I entered the closed room, I heard her talking with Suzie outside. Blah, blah, blah… Can’t, can, can. Hallo. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you. All Thai.
And I said, “Oh, Suzie, she knows anybody anywhere!” In such a place she also must talk. I was thinking like that. But then I heard a word, “Master, Master Ching Hai.” And then I heard Suzie say, “ค่ะ ค่ะ ค่ะ. (Yes, yes, yes.)” And then I jerked in the bathroom. So I can’t have even the smallest dream. I had to come out because if I stayed there, they’d ค่ะ ค่ะ (yes, yes) all the time and wait for me, I’m sure. They would not leave. So, I came out. And Suzie immediately introduced, “Oh, Master, this lady…,” but I took her hand, and then I went out of the door. But then she still insisted on talking. She said, “Oh, the lady asked me if You are the Anuttarā-samyak-saṃbodhi Ching Hai. And I said, “Yes.” But then because she already heard it, so I had to turn around and say “Hi,” and then I flew away. Otherwise we would be talking in the restroom at least for another half an hour or twenty minutes, I don’t know.
And I said, “How can she know me? Who is she?” by the way, while we were going out. Suzie said, “Oh she just kept asking me. She said she was supposed to attend Your lecture in Chulalongkorn University but couldn’t make it, and then later she just read Your book.” I said, “How can she read my book and recognize me like this?” I was all in black. And she said, “Oh yes, yes, people recognize You.” I cannot believe it. Just a sample booklet, you know. I looked different, but they recognized me. I don’t know how. And almost everywhere I go, people sometimes jerk or stare at me. And they point with each other. And it looks like I’m in the public gaze anytime, anywhere.
So you see. And in the car I told Suzie, “Oh, before I started to wear all these clothes and put makeup on and a hat and all that, so that when I go out people don’t recognize me. But I think now I have to wear a monk’s robe and don’t put makeup on anymore in order for people to not recognize me.” But that will be back to ABC again. People will recognize me differently because they would stare more, I think. Because it’s so special in different countries. Because I travel all the time. And I could not bear the public gaze so much. Oh, sometimes it’s really very disturbing. Maybe in Thailand people don’t stare so much at a nun, but in other countries they do. And they body search you because you look so different.
Alright. I think it’s enough now. How long did I speak? One hour? (Over an hour.) Only one hour? (They said more than one hour.) That’s with translation, huh? So that’s not much. Only half an hour. Forty minutes. That’s enough. (He said 40 hours, not 40 minutes.) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like last time we had an exhibition in Singapore, the diamond bracelets cost one million. They said, “It cost US$1,000.” I said, “I’ll buy it right away.” One million US dollars, but this was a wrong reading. Or like last time our disciples came to Cambodia and only 2,000 people came. I told the journalist 2,000. And they printed 20,000. (Wow.) Wow! Panicking. OK, alright. So let’s meditate for a while. And then I will leave quietly, OK? And take a shower and all that. Thank you. OK, thank you, doctor.
Photo Caption: Oh, the Sky Is Our Height
