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Tra Maestra e discepoli
La Maestra racconta barzellette

Take a look into the candid conversations between Supreme Master Ching Hai and Her disciples, on subjects ranging from spirituality to daily life, as well as rare insights into other realms beyond Earth. We must open our hearts to all kinds of noble influence, all kinds of noble company; we must take advantage of this chance. If we still believe that to improve our purity, to improve our wisdom is the highest purpose of humanity, then we must make effort. ~ Supreme Master Ching Hai (Vegan) World-renowned Humanitarian, Artist, and Spiritual Master

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Live in Joy, Part 7 of 7

31:58

Live in Joy, Part 7 of 7

Should we finish it? (Yes.) Yeah? Can you still laugh? (Yes.) Or you’re too tired to laugh? (No.) No? OK. Does somebody need to go to the airport? No? (I think not.) Are you still OK? If you have to go, you go.A young man had been sitting in the drawing room [for] a long time, and it was getting late. Suddenly, the door opened and her (his girlfriend’s) father entered. He coughed a little bit, cle
La Maestra racconta barzellette
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Live in Joy, Part 6 of 7

33:12

Live in Joy, Part 6 of 7

A guy said, “I haven’t slept for days.” And the second guy said: “How come?” The first guy said, “I only sleep at night.” Ha-ha-ha. Some joke. I don’t see any other jokes. Probably I went only up to there. So the rest I have to check out. OK? It cannot be that all these are not good jokes. Good, good. Next time, next time. We put it here. OK. So we know we’ve been there. Done that. Alright. We’ll
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-21   3257 Visualizzazioni
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Live in Joy, Part 5 of 7

31:53

Live in Joy, Part 5 of 7

A woman went into a shoe shop and said, “I would like a pair of alligator shoes.” So, the male salesman said, “Yes, ma’am. What size is your alligator?” You are so funny. I say, it’s OK, but I didn’t think it was that funny. And you’re laughing yourselves silly. I like that. Good audience, good audience.Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were camping together. You know Sherlock Holmes? He’s a detectiv
La Maestra racconta barzellette
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Live in Joy, Part 4 of 7

30:38

Live in Joy, Part 4 of 7

A surgeon advised a musician who played the violin that he would have to undergo an operation. The patient said, “But, Doc, I have concerts booked already. If you operate, can I be assured that I will be able to play the violin in two weeks’ time?” So the doctor said, “No problem, no problem. The last patient on whom I performed this operation was playing a harp within 24 hours.” No, I guess he ju
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-19   3213 Visualizzazioni
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Live in Joy, Part 3 of 7

32:47

Live in Joy, Part 3 of 7

There was a vampire bat(-person) –the bat(-person) who takes blood, I guess – came flapping from the night, and he was all covered in fresh blood, and he landed himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. And soon, all the other bat(-people) smelled the blood and came and were hassling him about where he got it. He told them to bug off and let him get some sleep, but they would not leave hi
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-18   3240 Visualizzazioni
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Live in Joy, Part 2 of 7

31:45

Live in Joy, Part 2 of 7

Come on, this is just a house. Wow, I feel better. It’s better, huh? (Yes.) Now, we can laugh. I love those things too but just to make the SM Celestial Clothes happy, and the Supreme Master TV, and the photo department happy. Now. OK, you got it? The next one is… I think I’ve told this story already. I’m not sure. In case you heard it already, you just laugh a little bit. Or boo in the middle, so
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-17   3415 Visualizzazioni
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Live in Joy, Part 1 of 7

41:05

Live in Joy, Part 1 of 7

New people? (Yes.) A lot of… English(-speaking)? (Yes.) OK. All the Westerners come here. All the English-speaking Westerners, the black, the white, the yellow, the red, the stripes. You come here. You’re good? You guys are going or coming? (Going.) Now? (9:00 to 9:30.) 9:30. Wow, you have two hours and a half. (Yes.) Ah, good, good enough, good enough, good enough. Yeah, yeah. Come in, come in, c
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-16   3796 Visualizzazioni
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Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 8 of 8

34:49

Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 8 of 8

The school has just released the grades of the final exams. Mom asked, “Liza, I heard Rose next door got 99 points in math. What about you?” So, Liza said proudly, “I got one more point than her.” Mom was happy, “You got 100 points, girl?” Liza said, “No, I got 9.9.” Only 99 points, and this one, 9.9.A distinctive businessman, Jack, told his son one day, “I have selected a girl whom you are to mar
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-15   3069 Visualizzazioni
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Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 7 of 8

33:49

Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 7 of 8

One day, two schoolgirls went to the library to review lessons. Kate was helping Lily with the revision. “What’s the meaning of this word?” So, Lily scratched her head and said, “I forgot. Beats me (idiom for ‘I don’t know’).” So, Kate beat Lily and then told her the meaning of the word. A few days later, they went to the library together again. Kate asked Lily again the meaning of that word. Lily
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-14   3156 Visualizzazioni
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Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 6 of 8

29:50

Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 6 of 8

Sonny said to Dad, “Dad, what is creeping inflation?” His father said, “Creeping inflation is when your mother starts out asking for new shoes and ends up with a complete new outfit.” Are there such families? They always complain about women’s spending. I don’t know, is it true? (Yes.) (It’s true.) (Sometimes.)A plane is about to take off. An airline hostess announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, pleas
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-13   3095 Visualizzazioni
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Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 5 of 8

32:39

Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 5 of 8

A recruiting ad for a French learning class says the following, “If you find you do not like this course and want to quit after the first class, you can request to refund your tuition, but you must say this in French.” Then you have to stay. Right? (Yes.) You understand? (Yes.)A teacher said to the students, “Why did you do so poorly on the exam?” Kitty, “The degrees of my glasses are not good eno
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-12   3215 Visualizzazioni
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Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 4 of 8

29:27

Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 4 of 8

The teacher asked a student, “Why don’t you brush your teeth? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.” The student said, “What did I have?” The teacher said, “Cornflakes.” So, the student said, “You are wrong. That was yesterday.”A little boy was praying in the church. “Oh, dear God, I have a small wish. Please move the capital to New York.” A priest nearby heard him and asked him, “Why
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-11   3406 Visualizzazioni
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Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 3 of 8

33:11

Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 3 of 8

Daddy number one says, “I always stress to my kids that there must be three -sions for success: Mission, passion and vision.” OK. So, dad number two: “And the outcome?” Dad number one says again, “Alas, there is only one television in their hearts.” Kids! Only one “-sion” in their hearts, that’s television. I hope it is the Supreme Master Television.This one is really bad, even though it’s a priva
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2026-04-10   3207 Visualizzazioni
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Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 2 of 8

32:15

Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 2 of 8

Little Johnny said, “Daddy, I want to ask you a question.” After a first day in Sunday school. So Daddy said, “OK.” And little Johnny said, “Oh, the teacher was reading the Bible to us, all about the children of Israel building this temple and the children of Israel crossing the Red Sea. The children of Israel do this, do that. What have all the adults been doing?” It’s true, huh? They do nothing,
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-09   3504 Visualizzazioni
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Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 1 of 8

38:41

Laughing with Enlightenment, Part 1 of 8

(Going home.) What time? (Yes, I’m going home in two hours.) (I’m going home alone tomorrow.) Are you both going home? (No.) (Just him alone.) (My mom and I.) Just pointing at this and that. Aren’t you two going home to the same house? (No.) Why do you two look so alike, like brothers? (It was in a past life.) (In a past life.) In a past life, in a past life. Hey! You’re all going home, leaving me
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-04-08   3994 Visualizzazioni
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Virtue with Wisdom, Part 7 of 8

33:33

Virtue with Wisdom, Part 7 of 8

There was this guy who won twenty million in the lottery, but he had a heart disease. So his family didn’t know how to tell him, they were afraid that if they told him suddenly, he might die from the shock. Then they went to ask a psychiatrist for help. The doctor said, “Don’t worry, I know. I have a heart disease too, so I know the psychology of people with a heart disease. Let me tell him. I’ll
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Virtue with Wisdom, Part 6 of 8

36:33

Virtue with Wisdom, Part 6 of 8

There was a guy who was invited over to celebrate Tết (Lunar New Year); Celebrating Tết involves sticky rice cakes, ginger candies, pickled leeks, non-alcoholic beer, and all that. Yes, please. But the hostess didn’t practice the Quan Yin Method, so she was kind of stingy. She was saving her money to travel. Therefore, she treated the guest, but only halfway. So the guy didn’t have enough to eat,
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-02-23   3326 Visualizzazioni
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Virtue with Wisdom, Part 5 of 8

34:08

Virtue with Wisdom, Part 5 of 8

In the biography of Xuanzang, it mentioned the Quan Yin Method. Because the Quan Yin Method in Sanskrit is called “Shabda.” One of the sutras He brought back mentioned the “Shabda.” “Shabda” means the (inner Heavenly) Sound within us. Because I knew that word, I knew Xuanzang practiced the “Shabda,” meaning the Quan Yin Method, the (inner Heavenly) Sound current. But if we don’t know Sanskrit, the
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2026-02-22   3407 Visualizzazioni
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Everything Is Arranged by God, Part 2 of 7

34:21

Everything Is Arranged by God, Part 2 of 7

Yesterday, the one who told a story about tofu… Because I had just talked about tofu a moment ago... If it is so smoky, then close your eyes for a moment until the smoke is gone. If your nose is congested, then pinch your nose, too. He told the story that there was a monk... But I didn’t know if the story was true or not, because he told the story, not me. There was a monk who was in a house – no,
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2025-12-21   3762 Visualizzazioni
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The Laughing Saints, Part 11 of 11

30:56

The Laughing Saints, Part 11 of 11

“A traveler.” “A traveler named John pulled into a little town for the night to find every hotel room was taken. He pleaded, ‘You have got to have a room somewhere or just a bed. I don’t care where.’ So, the manager admitted, ‘Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have c
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2025-09-23   3156 Visualizzazioni
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The Laughing Saints, Part 10 of 11

35:09

The Laughing Saints, Part 10 of 11

“There’s a father who said to a friend, ‘You know, when I was younger, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper, but my son has his own color TV, phone, computer, and CD player.’ So, his friend said, ‘So what do you do?’ ‘Well, I send him to my room.’”“A young boy and his girl were embracing passionately in the front seat of a car. She asked him, ‘You want to go to the back seat?’
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2025-09-22   3295 Visualizzazioni
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The Laughing Saints, Part 9 of 11

33:09

The Laughing Saints, Part 9 of 11

“A Baptist preacher, a Presbyterian minister, and a Lutheran pastor got into a discussion as to which denomination Jesus Christ would belong to.” Ah, here we come again. “Each claimed that He would belong to his own.” Of course. “So, the Baptist preacher declared, ‘He would obviously be Baptist. We are so on fire with the zeal for God, just like He was when He was on Earth. He would join us in a h
La Maestra racconta barzellette
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The Laughing Saints, Part 8 of 11

30:58

The Laughing Saints, Part 8 of 11

Yeah, fine. Up! Good boy. You OK now? You are tired? I love you. Oh, I love you. My little Liebchen (Sweetheart). Come, get up. Come here, read me a book of jokes. Do some work. Hey, Happy. OK, she wants some love.“One day, a boy was digging in his backyard, and his neighbor asked him, ‘Hey, Timmy, what are you doing that for?’ And Timmy said, ‘My goldfish(-person) died, and I’m burying him.’ The
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The Laughing Saints, Part 7 of 11

33:03

The Laughing Saints, Part 7 of 11

“At the end of a performance, there were a couple of extras in the play, talking together backstage. ‘What’s the matter with our leading lady?’ One actress said, ‘She seems really mad about something.’ And the other said, ‘Oh, she’s upset because she only received nine bouquets of flowers over the footlight.’ ‘Nine!’ Exclaimed the first actress. ‘That’s pretty good, isn’t it?’ The other one replie
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2025-09-19   3358 Visualizzazioni
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The Laughing Saints, Part 6 of 11

30:59

The Laughing Saints, Part 6 of 11

“One of the patients was very worried and asked the doctor, ‘Doctor, are you sure? Are you sure it’s pneumonia?’ The doctor said, ‘Yes, why?’ ‘Yeah, because I heard of cases where a doctor treated a patient for pneumonia, but he (the patient) ended up dying of something else.’ The doctor said, ‘Don’t worry. When I treat the patient for pneumonia, he will die of pneumonia.’” You got that? “For sure
La Maestra racconta barzellette
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The Laughing Saints, Part 5 of 11

32:58

The Laughing Saints, Part 5 of 11

It’s terrible. No, I won’t tell you this. There’s not much. Well, something maybe funny. “A Texas farmer was visiting an Australian farm for the first time. So he asked, ‘What’s that growing out there in that field?’ So the Aussie host said, ‘Well, them are watermelons, mate.’ The Texan scoffed at him and said, ‘In Texas, we grow potatoes bigger than that. And what’s that over there on those trees
La Maestra racconta barzellette
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The Laughing Saints, Part 4 of 11

31:12

The Laughing Saints, Part 4 of 11

I told you that already, I’m sure. I’m sure I told you this [one], but it’s funny, so I’ll tell you again, in case. And beware when you go watch movies or in some crowded place. “There was a lovely and shapely young lady trying to board a city bus. But she was filled with packages and bags and everything, and she was wearing a very tight dress. So, it was difficult for her to step on the bus witho
La Maestra racconta barzellette
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The Laughing Saints, Part 3 of 11

32:47

The Laughing Saints, Part 3 of 11

“A husband and wife were watching a movie on the TV the other night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he was in fact cheating on her. So, the husband asked the wife if she would ever do that to him. And she said, ‘Yes, yes, of course I would, but not so much to find out who was the other woman, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you.’”“Three men w
La Maestra racconta barzellette
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The Laughing Saints, Part 2 of 11

29:18

The Laughing Saints, Part 2 of 11

Hey. Ah, this is a bad thing for dog(-people). I don’t think they should eat this. Oh, maybe have a little of this, for fun. Oh, you’d eat anything; you don’t care. Here, Hap. Goody, you want some? Here, baby. Here. Here Goody. You like that? I don’t believe it. He spat it out. I knew you wouldn’t like it. Goody. He eats more healthy food. Here, Benny. You want to have fun? Go. Oh, everybody likes
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2025-09-14   3226 Visualizzazioni
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Celebrating Vegan Moon Festival with Master, Part 2 of 7

30:56

Celebrating Vegan Moon Festival with Master, Part 2 of 7

(So, the second number of our program today is our Indian brother that will tell some jokes for us.) (And make You laugh.) […] OK. Let’s hear some Indian songs. (Jokes.) Jokes? OK. The Indian people have jokes? Wow, I missed something when I was in India then. I never heard any jokes in India. I always heard something like, “hey” or “chalo.” (We tell jokes, and everybody’s laughing.) OK. Yeah.Come
La Maestra racconta barzellette
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Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 6 of 8

28:21

Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 6 of 8

A blind man was sitting on a park bench. A priest sat down next to him. The priest was chomping on a piece of waffle biscuit. Taking pity on the blind man, he took out another biscuit and gave it to the blind man. The blind man ran his fingers carefully over the surface of the biscuit and several minutes later, he turned around and tapped the priest on the shoulder and said to him. […]I have a jok
La Maestra racconta barzellette
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Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 5 of 8

30:28

Love Is Stronger Than Ego, Part 5 of 8

A small girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said, “Can we leave now?” “No,” the mother said. “Well, I think I have to be sick.” “Then go out to the front door, around to the back of the church, and be sick behind a bush.” In about two minutes, the little girl returned to her seat. “Were you sick then?” her mother asked. “Yes,” the little girl replied. “Wel
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2024-05-25   5935 Visualizzazioni
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Enjoying Relaxing Time with Master, Part 3 of 4

30:37

Enjoying Relaxing Time with Master, Part 3 of 4

When (Lord) Jesus was alive, He didn’t even have shoes. He had to hide everywhere, all the time. […] And then, after He died, look at how many churches we have. Empty; some are empty, some big and empty. […] We’d repair it. We’d pay for electricity, water, and food, and we’d repair. That’s the best way to use a church, right? Go and pray to God, meditate for mankind. But of course, we shall be pat
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2024-04-06   5547 Visualizzazioni
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The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 5 of 6

28:36

The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 5 of 6

There was another doctor. […] So, one day, he was invited to come to a person who happened to shoot himself accidentally with an arrow while he was practicing archery. And he shot himself in his own leg. […] The arrow went deep inside and half stuck out and half was in the flesh. So the doctor came, took a knife, cut the outside half and then went home. And the patient, “Hey, hey, hey…!” […]OK, pe
La Maestra racconta barzellette
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The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 2 of 6

20:08

The Holy Golden Mouse, Part 2 of 6

OK, now! Let’s have some jokes. It’s some Aulacese (Vietnamese) jokes. […] Now, there was a Master, so-called Master. I don’t know, maybe a Supreme Master even. He was very virtuous, supposed to be, and also very clean, very pure, like you cannot offer anything to the Master, for example, otherwise, your ID card will be confiscated! […] So now, this Guru has a wife and kids and all that, and He is
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2024-03-30   5661 Visualizzazioni
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Master’s Sacrifices for Love, Part 10 of 10

28:41

Master’s Sacrifices for Love, Part 10 of 10

So, it’s not like you can bring as much Power as you want down here. You have to cover it, use the Light to cover. Just like you put things in a bag, the fragile things in a bag. […] You can’t just let it all hang out raw. Then everybody will get shocked and die too, or burned to a crisp, because of the electricity power. And God’s Power is zillions, thousands of zillions of thousands stronger tha
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2024-01-27   5797 Visualizzazioni
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We Always Have to Appreciate What We Have, Part 11 of 12

34:34

We Always Have to Appreciate What We Have, Part 11 of 12

This Master Nasruddin, He was very “wicked.” He told a joke like this: One time, Nasruddin went into a neighbor’s garden, took one of the melons and put it in His bag. And then the neighbor came out and asked, “What is my melon doing in Your bag?” And Master Nasruddin said, “I was also asking the same question.”You know what? I take a rest because we cannot talk. Bon appétit (Good appetite)! (Bon
La Maestra racconta barzellette
2023-12-22   6047 Visualizzazioni
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Follow My Example and Assist Humankind, Part 10 of 14

39:57

Follow My Example and Assist Humankind, Part 10 of 14

These days I feel so much love. I don’t know what to do with all this love. I don’t want to leave, myself. I don’t want to go home, myself. […] So much love, don’t need anything else. “All we need is love.” That’s what they say. God. It’s really true. It’s really true. Nice. It’s nice like this when you have many hundreds of people, but you feel like one. Feels like together[ness]. How come this t
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2023-10-27   5344 Visualizzazioni
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