You guys burned the wood to make smoke for fun or what? [Because] I don’t see any flame at all. (Yes.) Who lit this fire? Who did it? Yeah, this one is still better, but how come the wood is so big? The wood won’t burn? It’s OK, it’s better now, feels a little warmer. Is it too smoky for you? No? Attending group meditation wearing lipstick like that? To look beautiful? How could you meditate with lipstick on? Because you ladies look beautiful, so I had to make myself beautiful. Don’t talk nonsense. I was afraid I am as beautiful as you are, that’d be losing face as I am the Supreme Master. Seeing you ladies put on makeup, I do the same. Because you're so beautiful I have to do something with my face, smear something on. Throw some colors on.
Is it cold today? (No.) No? (No.) (Today is not as cold as the other day.) Today is not cold, right? (We have Master, we don’t feel cold.) My God, you have Master! No problem. (Master wears beautiful clothes.) OK. So, actually I just want you to have fun. You didn’t have any fun. You sit there and cover yourself. I thought I make kind of a vegan barbeque for you. But nobody does anything. (It’s freezing cold.) No, I have warm layers inside. Just having fun with you. I am a desert hero, not feeling cold. I am not silly. I have long johns, warm layers inside of course. In America, we can’t be cold. (Right.) If we have money, we can have anything, right? (Right.) Just that I can’t cover myself all over. Because then no one can see me. (Right.)
How come there are not many people today? Not as many people as yesterday? (They aren’t all here yet, Master.) Ah, not here yet, at this hour? (They are stuck in traffic.) Ah, then I will go inside to continue my meeting. (Oh, no.) Ah, so let’s do this. We don’t have a lot of people here, let’s move inside, why sit out here. (Yes.) (There is snow over there, Master. More crowded over there. Very crowded over there.) Not that many! (Master, the water is cold.) (People are on the way.) Well, anyone stuck in traffic will sit outside. (Where is…? Master is here.) I am not wearing a mask, why are you pretending you can’t see me. There are not that many people here, how come you said there are a lot. You call this crowded? (They’re stuck in traffic, Master.) No, this many people won’t fit inside? (No, we may not have enough space, and won’t be able to see [Master]. We should sit here, it is OK. Inside, we won’t be able to see Master.) We will sit like face-to-face and hand-in-hand. And if we don’t have enough room, then we can sit on top of each other. Whoever’s fat sits at the bottom, and the small, skinny ones sit on top. Just like we make a house with many stories. How can we do that?
Are you cold? (No.) (We’re afraid it’s cold for Master, but we are not.) Really? Because I was sitting inside the car earlier and it was so warm. (Master, we have tents.) It feels a little cold getting out of the car. It’s not cold, but a little... (It’s cool.) A little cool. It is cool. But I am not tired. How come you have those dots... dots everywhere like that? (I planned ahead of time.) Did you plan ahead? Your hair is styled also, “wet look,” right? ([…] did it for me.) Did (…) do it? My God, (…) did my makeup once, and since then, whenever I saw her, I ran away, don’t dare to look at her. She used those kind of karaoke colors to put on my face and made it so messy. Isn’t it beautiful, the way I make up? [She] said it was not good, so she wanted to correct it. She made me look like “the messy Cinderella”!
On Lunar New Year Day, she came to Pingtung, Taiwan (Formosa) and said she will do makeup for Master, because Master doesn’t know how. She disapproved of what I did. She used all kinds of colors, and said, “This color makes You look younger, Master,” then another color is attractive, and all that. She drew all kinds of things on my face that I did not dare to step outside. Seven, eight thousand people were waiting for a long time outside. It was Lunar New Year, so they waited to get the red envelopes. I was sitting in there, my God, didn’t dare to go out, but it was late and I didn’t know what to do. Because if I were to wipe everything and redo [the makeup], it would take a long time. But if I came out like that, I would rather die. So I just stood there, didn’t know what to do. In the end I still had to wipe everything off and start over, and it still didn’t look normal.
Where is (…)? (She’s stuck in traffic.) Traffic jam, right? Oh, you said she would do your hair, how come now she’s stuck in traffic? (Oh, no. She did it for me when we went to Chicago.) You wore that makeup since Chicago? So, you haven’t washed it off since then? (Right.) God, no wonder there was such a strong smell standing next to her. Or is there a button, when pushed it brushes on? Do it one time, and it would brush every time? (It was the gel which has a sparkling color.) Ah, gel; today you put on the gel? (Yes.) This bottle would make you look 50 years younger? (Master is beautiful.) Really? (Yes, beautiful.) OK.
Go and find a small chair for me to sit here. OK, I sit here to keep warm. Find a small chair and bring it here for me. If you don’t let me sit, I will keep standing. Sit closer to each other to keep warm. (Yes.) Other people… or do we have any English-speaking people today? We don’t. No, huh? No? Yeah? No English-speaking. Today I’m very sorry to promise you to come. Today, I sat at home, didn’t want to come here. I was so tired. OK. Quick. This way. Behind! Oops, no. Sorry. He is working just like me. Come in, this way. Thanks. (It may burn Master’s clothes.) What? (I am afraid the [flame] would shoot out and burn Master’s clothes.) Ah, what you said scares me! Does it? Does it shoot out? (No. No, it would not burn.) I am so scared! ([The flame] shot out the other direction, but not here.) Would anyone sit in front of me, and sacrifice his or her life for me? (Me, me.) Oh, never mind, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
Very good. Where is that chair of mine? No, no, book, book. (OK.) Book. (I’ll go and get it.) Book. (I’ll go and get it right now.) (Be careful about the smoke, which could fly to Master.) No problem. (It is smoky, Master. Smoky, it burns the eyes. It is smoky on that side, Master.) No problem. A little bit of smoke makes it mystical, a mystic beauty. (Get the fan to blow the smoke to this side.) Let it be, auntie. If we use the fan, the smoke would get on these people, (It’s OK.) then their mascara would all melt. (It will be OK. No problem.) Is it OK? No problem. Really. Because we are outdoors, so it’s OK. (Right.) The place where I stay now, is rented. It is not that big, but it has a chimney, a fire place. If I sit next to [the fire place] and read the newspaper or watch television, then I would not want to go anywhere. But today, I should not have asked you to come. Hey. Can you go and find out who speaks English and translate for them? Or, do they have earphones? (Yes, we have it.) (Yes, there’s a lot.) Earphones? (Yes.) OK. Oh, yeah? Oh my God. I thought I put it here. For the books. I thought you’re so kind to me.
Today, I will tell funny jokes. (Yey!) Otherwise, we become Buddha all the time, too boring. Did you buy the Tú Xe book yet? Tú Xe or Tú Tàu? Not yet? (Yes, we did.) This book, the (meditation) Center bought for me, recently. What’s that? Oh, my God. Then they don’t have a place to sit. Move over. Move, so they can sit. Ah, it’s fine, OK. Thank you, thank you for your good heart. When you get married, let me know. (He is about to get married, Master.) Soon? (Yes.) What kind of meditation Center is this? A place for matchmaking? Anyone who comes here will find a wife; it’s so strange! Because you guys don’t meditate, you keep your eyes open to look around, right? Huh? Huh? Or what? Tell me. I tell you. I warn you. Alright? Except me, no looking at anybody else. (Yes.) I’m the most beautiful. (Yes!)
This book, it is written by Tú Xe, and its title is “Laughing Is Forbidden.” We are now spiritual practitioners, so we should talk about [Lord] Jesus, Buddha, so that it feels a little more related to spiritual practice, right? (Yes.)
OK. There was a banker, who was very devoted. He was a Christian, devoted. He wanted to have a good business, but he didn’t have much progress. One day, he came to the church and asked the Lord – maybe the Lord was inside the church. He asked, “Dear Lord! Dear Lord, I heard that to You, a thousand years is not very long, right?” Ah, the Lord answered, “Right, you are right. One thousand years to me is about a second.” Then the banker was smiling and happy, thinking that he was enlightened, not only greedy about money. And he continued to ask, “Dear Lord, then to You, one million dollars is not that much, right?” The Lord said, “Right, you are right. To me, one million dollars is not worth even one cent.” So the banker said, “If it is so, dear Lord, please give to me one nickel. One nickel.” Then the Lord said, “OK, but you have to wait for me one minute.”
Do you understand? Do you understand one minute? Because a thousand years is only one second, then one minute would be many thousands of years. Now you understand? (Yes.) God is very funny. (Yes.) OK, now, we ran out of the Lord’s story. So now, probably we have to talk about mundane stories. Now let me see if there is any good one. In the afternoon, I browsed through the book and translated to the Chinese, the “tofu.” Ah, talking about tofu…
Because in America (US), (…) loves me so much, so the US has a close affinity with me, has a lot of blessings, therefore money keeps pouring into the US. And the Chinese (Taiwanese [Formosan]) have twelve or thirteen, so to me, I have a close affinity with the Chinese (Taiwanese [Formosan)). If they love me a lot, then they have more affinity with me, then the Chinese will have a lot of blessings. (Yes.) Therefore, the Aulacese (Vietnamese) guys wanted to jump in in order to “save” the suffering Âu Lạc (Vietnam) country. Whatever we do, it has to be natural. Not that we see that other people do it and get the benefits, then we jump in to do the same. Then it’s not true love, right? (Right.) That is true love for money!
Photo Caption: Humbly Thanking the Almighty for Protection!
