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The Life of Lord Mahavira: Last Calamity-Nails in the Ears, Part 1 of 3

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We’re human, it’s easier for us to take care of ourselves and to protect our physical wellness. Animals, they don’t have a chance. They just have their burrows, and they have their little leaves on top of them. Insects and all that, they have no way to build a lot of rooms and protective houses, so we’d better not disturb them too much.

There are more people today. They still sit outside? Anyone staying up there? (They have come down.) Have they? OK. Actually, we can accommodate more than 10 thousand people. If not possible, we can take turns. Stay in tents, and then we have our own room and house. Then take turn to see me. No problem. I can walk, I think. (That’s great.) I’ve practiced in the house for a while, just now. I’ll walk for as long as I can, OK? Wow! Then I should wear a hat. (Master, we have prepared.) You have? OK. I am also colorful, right? More or less the same. (Master, You are so beautiful! You are so beautiful!) Thank you. I don’t think I can go all the way in. So… I’d better summon my dragon or my horse, OK? Please understand, I’m getting old; no longer the same. At least my horse is red. So, it’s OK. We are all red. So soon? Today it’s only the 24th. You’re already wearing such big hats? I can’t wear it, not over my beautiful hair. Maybe later. I’ll need a mirror to wear this. We ladies have to be dignified. OK, good? Is translation also available outside? (Yes.) That’s great. But it’s cold sitting here. What to do? (We are not cold.) It will be too cold to sit like this. No? (We are hot.) No? (We are sweating.) Sweating? (Yes.) That’s great. Sweating is good.

I am sorry, it’s like this. If we build a bigger place, then we will cut many trees. And we will damage a lot of the environment. I don’t really like that. The trees won’t like that. And we will ruin many of the habitats of the small animals or big animals around here and they won’t like that; I don’t like that. Even though they cannot talk, they cannot protest, but I protest for them. We can manage. We can manage with these kinds of things. We’re human, it’s easier for us to take care of ourselves and to protect our physical wellness. Animals, they don’t have a chance. They just have their burrows, and they have their little leaves on top of them. Insects and all that, they have no way to build a lot of rooms and protective houses, so we’d better not disturb them too much. Whatever we already have, we use. Actually, we never can build enough. It’s never big enough. There’s always more children. I keep having more and more children all the time; we never have enough room no matter how big you build. So, we’d better protect what we have and take care, repair and make it always ready for the elderly and the not-well-feeling and children; the vulnerable. And the strong like me just sit outside. I also sit outside to meditate at night, less easy to fall asleep. I don’t know, maybe I sleep. When I sleep, I do not know, do I? Maybe I slept also during meditation. I copy from you. I learn. Thousands of you teach me many things. So, it’s OK. (OK. Yes.)

Actually, Taiwan (Formosa) weather is very accommodating. It’s never too cold. (Yes.) And never too hot. You know why? Because we have the surrounding sea, ocean, and the ocean water regulates the temperature inland and the island is small, therefore, all sides are surrounded by ocean; so the whole island is regulated somehow. Even now, it’s supposed to be winter already or not? Or is it autumn? (Right.) (Winter.) Is it winter already? (It is winter.) Winter. It’s still very warm, right? (Yes.) We don’t feel very, very cold at all, right? (No.) So, it’s OK. (Yes.) Taiwan (Formosa) is getting better. OK then, I’ll go now. (Thank You.) (Hallo, Master.) Thank you, all the working staff. All of you. If you were not here, we wouldn’t be able to hold the retreat. That’d be miserable. Thank you very much for your support. Thank you, thank you. I said thank you, all the workers that sacrifice their time and their labor to make our retreat pleasant and successful. I thank them all. One thousand plus strong workers for your retreat. You have to thank them. Big applause for the workers. Me too. I also applaud you. Thank you. Thank you. God bless you. Buddha bless you. May you progress very fast spiritually. Infinite merits. Thank you. I don’t know if I stand up, if I look better or not. No. OK, thank you, everyone. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Voila! Very good.

(Master is God. Hallo, Master. Master is very beautiful.) Can you still see my eyes? Can you? I have to protect them, or my eyes would keep tearing up. (Hallo, Master. I love You.) (Hallo, Master. Master, I love You.) (Hallo, Master. Hallo, Master.) Hallo! Hallo comrades! Hallo comrades! Thank you, comrades from China. (Master is so beautiful. Hallo, Master. Master, I love You.) (Merry Christmas.) I’m here, guys. How are you? (Very good. Thank You, Master.) You’re still here? Very good. Why are you crying? First time you see me? First time? Oh, me too. But I cannot cry, it will ruin my makeup. Amitabha Buddha. (Amitabha Buddha.) I’m glad to see you, all of you. I’m so happy to see you. Really, it’s truly like that. You, the Westerners, have very big attraction power. That’s why I put you in the front, so I cannot not see you. And the monks and nuns also. Actually it’s true like that. Sometime I have to check some of the scripts or the videos that we made a long time ago in Europe or elsewhere, where we were together, with a lot of Westerners, and the way you laughed, the way you eagerly listened and all that, just touched me so much. So, that’s the reason we have the retreat again. Because… OK, go ahead, clap yourselves. Clap your own attraction power. OK, enough, man! People might think you are too proud. Because it’s more normal if the Taiwanese (Formosan) or the Aulacese (Vietnamese) or the Asians, they like me because I look like them. You like what you look like. That’s why husband and wife sometimes, they look like each other very much. Or dogs and owners, caretakers, look very much similar, even turtles. Yeah, yeah, yeah! I’m not joking! When I was in Europe, I knew one woman, she raised a turtle, tortoise, you know, small one? Very small, garden one. And she looked so much like that! I never knew that even humans can look like turtles. That surprised me a lot. I always knew maybe dogs and cats they can look like humans, but turtles! The way her mouth and her face, I don’t know, just looked so much alike. Even if they went out together, people might think they are twins, biological twins. I’m telling you. And then another time, I knew also one guy, he had a fish tank.

I’m just standing for a while until my high heels bug me, and then I will sit down. Not that it makes very much difference at all. But the high heels do bug you. I really admire the beautiful businesswomen, they walk all day on the high heels. Image this kind! Walk all day! Walk all day on it. And they run also. I saw even a doctor did that. She was beautiful and she was very tall already. I wondered why she had to wear high heels, torturing her feet. But she ran even. Doctors, they don’t always… Maybe not as high as mine, but high enough to… Oh, my God. OK, never mind. We women are also sometimes funny. We do everything to please the men. Not I, no, I just wear that. I’m not wearing that to please you. I just have to. It belongs to the job, you know already. By now, maybe. I wonder where they dig out all these AP, Ancient Predictions? I never knew they existed except Nostradamus. I read a few quatrains, which I did not understand anything. I was in France of course, and the people read this and that; in the library you can read anything, but I did not understand a thing. What is that with the “The Ocean religion will win,” and blah blah blah. At that time, I did not know. And the Aulacese (Vietnamese) prediction, the Korean prediction, of course, I knew nothing about them. I was just like you, first time I heard about all these things. It’s amazing. I don’t know if I fit the description, but I’m trying very hard.

Where was I before then? (Turtle.) Turtle? OK, fine. She looked exactly the same like the turtle, like twins. And the turtle was only this big, my hand only, as my palm only. She’s European; she was not very tall, but of course, taller than me. How can they look so much alike? I was always looking and amazed. And there was a guy, I knew a French guy who had an aquarium, and one of the fish in the tank that he loved the most. He always went next to the tank and called that fish, “Tu tu tu tu. Fishy, fishy, fishy.” And then he looked exactly like that one! My God! The one that, I don't know, it’s kind of a… has a black and brown, and a little bit golden stripe around it. They are very fanciful. But a small fish, for the tank. He always went, “Fishy, fishy, fishy” and that one would come to him, to his finger, and then they both look exactly the same. I thought, if the fish didn't need water, he could take him out for a walk, and I am sure they would think, "Oh, it's a twin, biological twin." So much alike! Have you ever seen this thing? No. If you see any fish tank and the owner loves the fish, you watch, exactly the same. Dogs and cats we see, so common. But birds also, some bird caretakers they look exactly like the bird that he or she likes. Dogs are also not all that simple to look alike, but they do. Dogs look different from us, but they do look the same like the owner, I don't know why. Especially the pug, you know the one, the crush-faced pug. You don't see his nose anywhere; his nose and his mouth are identical. They’re all flat faced, but can look like the owner! You've seen them, the pug, P-U-G. The nose doesn't... You don't see the nose. It’s just all flat. But then the owner also looks alike. I can't believe all that. I hope I don't look like any of you around here because then I won't fit the description, do I?

Never mind. No matter what, we never have enough room. In the beginning, I had only a small little building with the metal sheet, fit about 500 people. I thought it was a lot already. But later, it was demolished and now we don't have big enough anyway. Thank God I told you already, that they have a mortgage, they have job, they have children, they have a wife, they have the controlling system at home, so they can't all come here. Otherwise, we’d be in trouble. I am glad you have made it and I am really happy to see you. It was just not that easy sometimes, to make it, for me. All right, then. You still can see my eyes? No? (Yes.) (Yes.) Good. Good. So, this is the last trial story of Lord Mahavira. Anyway, happy retreat. Merry Christmas. (Thank You.) Celebrating Christmas, don’t forget the Buddhas. And don't forget me either. This is a terrible one, but it's short. Oh, not really that short. Never mind, we'll make it.

I have not even prepared any presents for you guys. I hope I can just give red envelopes to bribe you and you can buy what you want, may be better, that we have shops around here. Will that do then? Or maybe I’ll wait until the New Year, so I don't have to do it again and again. We have Christmas, and then we have western calendar New Year, and then we have Lunar New Year; it's all come together. How can I, one person, prepare so many presents? I will make it all in one go, like red envelope, if I even have time. Or I’ll just give it to you raw, as is, and you find an envelope to stick it in. Oh man, forgive me. Really, one person cannot do everything. We have people around, but they are all busy with their own stuff. Just for this retreat, we have like 1,500 something people working, (Wow!) for you. Yes! What do you think? Cooking, cleaning, preparing all these translation systems, decorating… Oh, they decorated before already, but still have a lot of work to do. Transportation. Some small cases here and there; not everybody went on the buses. And have to answer the phone, if somebody gets lost in the chicken farm, somewhere around here. If I were to come here by car, I would be lost again. I always got lost, before, in Hsihu. Even though I lived there long, I always got lost when I came home. Always. Always depended on the neighbors to bring me home. Because sometimes the taxi also cannot find. It's a mountainous area. There's no exact address. No number. No direction sign; or not too many things that are more convenient like in the city. Sit where you are, because I might not see you. Oh, hallo. You are still there? Still there? (We are here.) Still there. OK. I'm not Santa Claus, so I cannot wear this actually. This symbolizes Santa Claus. I think I’ll let all of you be Santa Claus. I'll wear this tonight, maybe, or tomorrow. I'll put it there. It's not yet time, anyway. It has all this bling, bling stuff. Very cute.

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